If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
