i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
