i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
