I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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