I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
