and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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