So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
