I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
