God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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