it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
