and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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