too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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