I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
