I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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