I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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