Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I CAN MOONWALK!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
