Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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