forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
