Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
