he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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