my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Randomize
