can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize