This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
