There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
