I must be too annoying 4 u.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
