the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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