So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
