Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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