The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize