so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
