put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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