i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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