there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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