oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
