If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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