who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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