I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize