we made out on top of his cat.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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