My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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