i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
