I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
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Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
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I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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