She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
