we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
