Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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