Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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