it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
