bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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