i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
