I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
