i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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