I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize