im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
