she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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