They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
