I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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