I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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