Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
