operation have a gay friend backfired
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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