I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
