I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
