wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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