WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
