I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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